I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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