think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
