I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
