I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
