btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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