She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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