she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
