bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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