I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
