Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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