Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm passing your future prison.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
