I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
