i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
