we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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