Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
This toilet bowl is my home.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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