My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
