Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
