no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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