New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
high people should be assigned attendants
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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