thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
