Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
