I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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