i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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