Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Of course I have a pirate flag
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
