found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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