Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
