i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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