Christians are straight up FREAKS
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
