Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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