Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
