First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
