I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
