The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
vagina is talking i cant
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize