So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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