woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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