how can u be prego again
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
