come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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