I must be too annoying 4 u.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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