I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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