sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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