i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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