I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
