I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Small penises have feelings too.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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