my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
