I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
