Define "chronic" masturbator.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
