Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
