hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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