No period for spring break; use this wisely.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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