So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
