I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
