yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
