I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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