I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
