If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
