I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize