You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
