I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I cockslap morals
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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