Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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