The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
