yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
