It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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